nostalgic mornings.

friday the 13th again
i woke up to the sound of my phone ringing
and somewhere in the back of my sleep laden brain
is the question "why is my phone not on vibrate mode?"
but muscles have their own memory and
so i yawned and automatically reached for my phone
your name was flashing on the screen
blinking insistently like the Christmas lights in my mother's favorite tree
i pressed silent and stared stupidly at the screen
waiting for the end call to appear
then I promptly fall back to sleep
and when i woke up again my first thought was of you
after so many years of celebrating because i have finally forgotten you
i am back to that, to this, to you as my first thought of the day
you cannot imagine how strange that is
my brain recognizes you without me thinking consciously
my muscles remember what to do when you call
but at least my heart did not fail me this time
it knew who it beats for