~inferiority~

while sitting in a class and listening to the teacher lecture
I blurted out an answer to her question like i so often did in many of my other classes
and my seatmate apparently gauging that my answer was right
urged me to recite
of course
like always
i stayed mum and remain seated
she then reprimanded me and kept on asking me why i did what i did
and as always
i replied with a simple statement
"ayoko, nahihiya ako"

how many chances have i missed just because i was shy? or afraid that i would say the wrong answer?
probably too many to mention
how many times have i chastised myself for not rising up to the challenge?
probably too many times it is even impossible to comprehend
how many times have i told myself over and over again to do what i have to do?
probably too many i wont even finish by nightfall
and how many grades have i let fall just because i was hesitant to speak?
probably too many you won't even believe what i wrote

here i go
reproaching other people
chastising their attitudes
when i myself can't get over
my own insecurities
or better disguised in the word
shyness

IRONIC isn't it?