1 engagements and marriages.morfgnologa...

and so here I am again writing my
freakishly wrong feelings...

the last thing to be bought would be the ring...
I haven't seen it yet but I have no doubt that
I would...
and quite frankly I don't know how I will react
when I finally see it...
I have been really patient recently...
quite saintly in fact...
but I am very much afraid that the ring
would be the last straw...
what if I cried? what if I suddenly go berserk?
or what if I BEGGED?
that would be mortally embarrassing...
but I have not really addressed the real issue...
I have been skirting around the problem for
the past week or so
hoping to avoid it and
totally afraid to face it...
what would I do now?
what does their engagement mean to me?
would I finally stop clinging and just go on?
and if I don't what would I do next?
be a home wrecker?
its just unfair...
plainly and simply UNFAIR
why is it that the
right thing always hurt
so damn much?
I am losing sleep and its all because of HIM
gOD!how i love him