32 shots.

tonight after so many years I again imbibed a surprisingly large amount of alcohol. after many years I have broken my promise with myself and drank alcohol after school. does that make me a liar, a traitor or simply a girl who wants to experience what it is like to taste alcohol again?
so underneath this sudden alcohol attack is the pretense of nonchalance that I maintain. what happens after this?
i must wait and see.
for now I'll sleep and wake up early for the morning exercise.
this is not the alcohol speaking mind you
this is a hundred percent
i am just weird this way.
anyway goodnight.
see you tom!

3am nonsense

so I'm still wide awake
thinking of nothing in particular
reminiscing about nothing special
and doing nothing productive except
write in this blog
------------

coming up with a million excuses not to fall in love
is a bad idea because at the end of the day
the heart doesn't really listen to what the mind say
it is undeniably a fruitless effort

----------------

Shooting stars fall
And twinkling stars twinkle
I was neither
I cannot promise you perpetual light
The same way I cannot promise you
Eternal love
I only know
That I met you
And you met me
And fate decided
That I can be a shooting star after all
-----------------

so what is the truth here?
do I make you sad or do I make you happy?
I know I make you sad
but you say I make you happy
so are my instincts lying
or is it you who is lying?

-------------------

one of the many truths in life:
LOVE IS COMPLICATED

------------------
I told my friend that I like complicated
but I think I said that too fast
I did it without even thinking
because now that I started thinking about it
I realized
I do not like complicated
I like simple
no wait I said that too fast again
I LOVE SIMPLE
-----------------

a magical night of friendship

from something spontaneous to something expensive to something entirely laughable
there wasn't many opportunities to talk and we all got bankrupt at the end of the day but tonight was still magical
I got to be happy without being silly, got to laugh without feeling totally overwhelmed and forgot all my worries in an instant.
Tonight I get to feel that wonderful feeling of being secure.
Secure in the knowledge that even if the world seems to be resting on my shoulders, there would be people out there who would be willing to shoulder the burden every now and then.
At least tonight I felt I can count on people.