down down down

fine
second highest
smile ka naman the whole time
pinuri ka eh
pero deep inside hiyang-hiya ka
at natatakot dahil alam mong may kapalit ang saya
all the while kinakabahan ka para sa next subject
-nervous-
---------------------------------

and predictably you failed
and for the first time in your life you get to see a note from your teacher
saying
"please see me after class"
-dumbfounded-

--------------------------------

in college i get to experience a lot of firsts
firsts that are not necessarily good
first F
first 0/10
first time to be asked if you understand the subject
first time to feel the freaky feeling of not being able to follow what your teacher is teaching
first time to attend summer classes
first time to be reprimanded for being unusually noisy
first time to cut a class
first time to be reprimanded for being successively late
and i can go on naming a lot of other "firsts" but i think the space wouldn't be enough for them
haayyyyy
just feeling UBERLY disappointed
=(
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some of my highschool friends were surprised when i said that i was having a difficult time understanding Economics
well it wasn't that different from HS economics but i somehow always fail to write the correct answers
i understand the topic
believe it or not
I REALLY DO
and often the mistakes i made are careless overlooking on my part
haaayyy
and the perfect example of that
MY LT#1
overlooked one number, of course the following numbers are successively wrong
multiplied the whole equation to .10 when it should be .9
haaayyyyy
=(

so why am i writing this?
so unlike me to share stuffs like this
but i am just so disappointed with myself right now
this is the only way i know to help me recover


LET THIS BE A REMINDER OF MY CARELESSNESS AND STUPIDITY

*note to self
never forget this day
promise you'll never allow the same thing to happen EVER again

-determined-