~SnaP~

I kinda feel a little sad.
You see today I seem to be bombarded
by snapshots from reality.
And all of them seem to be bad news.
To illustrate what I'm saying
this was how my day went today:
I passed by a poverty stricken area
on my way to school.
And then when
I was going home and
making my way to the
LRT at Katipunan
I heard a couple talking
about how they would make their
ends meet now that the husband is
layed-off from work. And as I look
back I caught a glimpse of the woman
wiping a tear.
As I was riding the jeepney, my seatmate
and her friend who was holding crutches
were whispering. And being the chismosa
girl that I am I listened in to the
conversation. I found out that the "crutches"
girl is sick (which was obvious) but that
she had problems paying the hospital bills.
Apparently she just got dispatched and her
friend fetched her from the hospital. I
wondered why they just didn't take a
taxi but then I realized that if she had
problems paying the bills then it would
also follow that she cannot pay for the
"comfort" provided by the taxi. Then
I heard her say that her grown-up kids
don't know about her getting sick and that
her friend shouldn't tell her kids because
she doesn't want to be a burden since her
kids are having problems financially as well.
She said she can ask for a loan and perhaps
the agency she worked for when she was an OFW
can cover some of the expenses.
Then when I got home my mom started talking
about the problems of the teenager yaya
of my baby nephew. According to my mom
L*cy's family was driven out of their home
by their neighbors who supposedly grabbed
their land. My mom told us why
L*cy stopped attending school and how her
mother and brother got imprisoned because of
wrongful accusations.
Then my father insisted on watching the
evening news which had nothing good in it
since they all talk about the rice crisis
and death of so many people due to some accident
or some sort of gang fights.
After that I was forced to review an article
for my Eco112 class about labor markets etc.
And after reading that article
about the high unemployment rate in
our country and the current job
deficit and fiscal crisis that
we are in, I was forced to watch
the Inconvenient truth.

Man! I tell you, that was depressing.
In one day I was forced to face the reality
of our world..
and sadly I cannot seem to think of any
solutions..
waaahhh..I feel like crying...I feel so
worthless and unhelpful...
can you just let me crawl back into
my comfort zone???

=(

someone else's philosophy

I copied this from a friend of mine..
Natuwa lang ako kc ang cute..
rhyming ung words..
hahaha..=)


i'd rather be a could-be if i cannot be an are;
because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star.
i'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far;
for a might-have-been has never been, but a has-been was once an are.

~grey matter~

humans do not easily see things.
we often find ourselves overlooking obstacles
and thus we tend to fall a lot.
and though we wish that things
can be simple, they can never be simple.
we would never find ourselves in a
situation where everything is clear.
that is why it is best that we stop
hoping to see things in a clear distinction
between black and white.
instead we should learn to think in between.
we should accept that in everything
we do there would always be a grey area.
The grey matter would always be there...


-----------------------
so stop wearing white girl
coz it doesn't suit you...
you're no angel..
wake up!

On blogging..

I love reading blogs even if they're just blogs
of some random people that I do not really
know. I love reading about the recent events
in their life, the latest chismis and even
their daily rants. I love to follow the unfurling
of their lives. I do not care how senseless
their posts are or how one-sided their stories
are, what matters to me is the kind of entertainment
they provide. I do not really "blog-hop" on a
daily basis but I do it quite often especially if
I have a lot of time to kill. And every time I do so
I always feel quite light and a bit happy. But I guess
what I really love about reading blogs is the idea
of seeing life in a different person's point of view,
for me its like seeing the world in a different way
through another person's eyes.
Haaayy..
whoever started this "blogging" thing should really
get an award..
he's a genius..
=)


P.S
if you have time check out Carlos Celdran's blog
(http://celdrantours.blogspot.com/)
That guy is really one of a kind. His posts are entertaining
and if you're a travel enthusiast like me then you would
really love his blog. Also his points about the Philippines
is quite different from most people, I actually consider
him a fellow patriot. hahaha =)
oohh and also you might want to be a part of his tour, I
tell you he is really good and very amusing but informative
at the same time. I've been to one of his tours and its
been one hell of an experience. Really amazing!

blog from the past...haha

i was looking through some of my drafts and
saw this..
I can't remember why I did not post it before
but I'm guessing its because the post is too
cheesy and kinda pathetic..
I guess I got too embarrassed to reveal
what I'm really feeling at that time..
maybe i was afraid my ex would read it and
think me too weak and still very much in
love..
but really during those days and months I
felt nothing but crushed and even now
as I look back and read some of my posts
I can still feel the pain..
its really hard to move on and these past 2
years have
been very challenging
but here I am now
single and just getting by
but definitely moving on and finding
many things to love
most people say I've become too jaded
and that I have lost the will to hope
I must admit my views in life and love have
considerably changed but I would
like to believe that I can still hope
and that though I've gotten my heart and
many other hearts broken these past few months
I can still wait and wish that God would
finally give me what I've been longing for..
--------------------------


February 2006
I saw this post from a friend of mine and
I can't help but agree
because to tell you honestly I'm still having
a hard time...
I know I told my friends that I'm ok and that
I can do this but really I'm finding it hard
to move on..
I can't go on like this anymore..
I'm so tired..
God I need some help..I REALLY NEED a LOT
of HELP..

A broken heart is when you actually refuse to get out of bed in the morning because you're afraid of the reality that awaits you.

A broken heart is when you think about the individual that broke your heart constantly. You reminisce about the "good times" almost as if the "bad times" never existed.

A broken heart is when you are crying yourself to sleep every night & yet crying more and more each morning.

A broken heart is the unforgettable smell of his shirt that sits in that empty box; stowed away.

A broken heart is the cold shattering feeling you get when you hear the syllables of his name.

A broken heart is glancing at the pictures of the two of you & then quickly turning your attention to something else to avoid your tears.

A broken heart is re-reading his ancient letters & putting away the jewelry that he once bought for you.

A broken heart is secretly wanting to run back to him & secretly wanting to just be loved by him again.

A broken heart is asking desperately for just one last chance with the only person responsible for your loneliness.

A broken heart is pretending to not care what his friends are saying about you.

A broken heart is forcing yourself to hang up the phone after you have dialed the first three digits to his number.

A broken heart is screaming & begging for a second chance inside.

A broken heart is the emptiness & heart-wrenching feeling you encounter when you see him with his new love.


A broken heart is knowing that no matter what you do or say to yourself, you can't fool your heart into believing that you will in fact "Be Alright."


A broken heart is seeing him, & even though it may be the hardest thing that you have ever had to do, you decide to walk away.


A broken heart is listening to that one song that makes you break down over & over again.

A broken heart sometimes means: not wanting to go on.

-------------
why do i still miss you???
=(...






*-------------*
see i told you it was cheesy and PATHETIC
pero sa totoo lang those were the days
when I really don't want to get out of bed
and wish that I can just sleep all day
Man! I was so depress I can't even eat..
and yan din ung times na halos every song
that I hear can actually make
me cry..hahaha..pathetic! pero lahat naman
tau dumaan dyan eh..haha..oh well nagreminisce
lang ako..hahaha

~hneyr~

mysterious, cunning, intelligent beyond his years,
well-read, proud and unbelievably cold yet seriously
fascinating.
The perfect embodiment of the word eccentric.