blog from the past...haha

i was looking through some of my drafts and
saw this..
I can't remember why I did not post it before
but I'm guessing its because the post is too
cheesy and kinda pathetic..
I guess I got too embarrassed to reveal
what I'm really feeling at that time..
maybe i was afraid my ex would read it and
think me too weak and still very much in
love..
but really during those days and months I
felt nothing but crushed and even now
as I look back and read some of my posts
I can still feel the pain..
its really hard to move on and these past 2
years have
been very challenging
but here I am now
single and just getting by
but definitely moving on and finding
many things to love
most people say I've become too jaded
and that I have lost the will to hope
I must admit my views in life and love have
considerably changed but I would
like to believe that I can still hope
and that though I've gotten my heart and
many other hearts broken these past few months
I can still wait and wish that God would
finally give me what I've been longing for..
--------------------------


February 2006
I saw this post from a friend of mine and
I can't help but agree
because to tell you honestly I'm still having
a hard time...
I know I told my friends that I'm ok and that
I can do this but really I'm finding it hard
to move on..
I can't go on like this anymore..
I'm so tired..
God I need some help..I REALLY NEED a LOT
of HELP..

A broken heart is when you actually refuse to get out of bed in the morning because you're afraid of the reality that awaits you.

A broken heart is when you think about the individual that broke your heart constantly. You reminisce about the "good times" almost as if the "bad times" never existed.

A broken heart is when you are crying yourself to sleep every night & yet crying more and more each morning.

A broken heart is the unforgettable smell of his shirt that sits in that empty box; stowed away.

A broken heart is the cold shattering feeling you get when you hear the syllables of his name.

A broken heart is glancing at the pictures of the two of you & then quickly turning your attention to something else to avoid your tears.

A broken heart is re-reading his ancient letters & putting away the jewelry that he once bought for you.

A broken heart is secretly wanting to run back to him & secretly wanting to just be loved by him again.

A broken heart is asking desperately for just one last chance with the only person responsible for your loneliness.

A broken heart is pretending to not care what his friends are saying about you.

A broken heart is forcing yourself to hang up the phone after you have dialed the first three digits to his number.

A broken heart is screaming & begging for a second chance inside.

A broken heart is the emptiness & heart-wrenching feeling you encounter when you see him with his new love.


A broken heart is knowing that no matter what you do or say to yourself, you can't fool your heart into believing that you will in fact "Be Alright."


A broken heart is seeing him, & even though it may be the hardest thing that you have ever had to do, you decide to walk away.


A broken heart is listening to that one song that makes you break down over & over again.

A broken heart sometimes means: not wanting to go on.

-------------
why do i still miss you???
=(...






*-------------*
see i told you it was cheesy and PATHETIC
pero sa totoo lang those were the days
when I really don't want to get out of bed
and wish that I can just sleep all day
Man! I was so depress I can't even eat..
and yan din ung times na halos every song
that I hear can actually make
me cry..hahaha..pathetic! pero lahat naman
tau dumaan dyan eh..haha..oh well nagreminisce
lang ako..hahaha