stressing.

after the euphoric feeling due to the victory yesterday
I am back to school
and obviously back to stressing.

P.S
blushing should be made illegal
especially when it is disarmingly seductive

ABOUT THE CHAMPIONSHIP!

Yessssss!!!
finally a championship
after 6 long years!
and on our senior year at that!
We are so lucky!!!

what a great feeling!
=)


--------------------------
got my 15 sec of fame!!!
hahaha!
if you happen to see me on tv
screaming my lungs out
please force the image out of
your head and forget it
immediately
THAT was embarrassing!
but hey we won so I have
a right to cheer you know
hahaha
;p

RECUPERATING FROM NOSTALGIA.

TIME PASSES. EVEN WHEN IT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE. EVEN when each tick of the
second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange
lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me.
-BELLA SWAN-
NEW MOON

full circle.

the f*ck*ng rain won't stop.

but it is somehow liberating.
at least its not open ended.

i just wish the sun would shine again.

id rather watch a sad sunrise
than always go home wet due to the
ceaseless rain.

see...coming around in
full circle is not that bad.

now all i have to worry about are
pink clouds
and guitar songs in my head.

its becoming a habit.

going online.
its addicting.
but still.........
saving the world? is an enigma.
DON'T GO THERE.
-----------------------------------

We are never so defenseless against suffering as when we love." - freud

It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart; the enemy to slander you and the friend to get the news to you." -mark twain

darkness.

the darkness have no answers.

but isn't it weird how many of us in moments of extreme confusion choose to stay in that darkness? its as if we find comfort in the darkness even if there is nothing there but emptiness. there was a time when i wonder how some people managed to stay in the dark but now i realized what they find in the darkness. they do not find answers that is for sure, in fact they do not find anything substantial in the darkness. but sometimes it just feels so good to be part of the darkness,to be THE darkness. when you've been in the darkness for too long it can be hard to go back to the light. i mean why go back to the light when all that the light contain is pain and suffering right? what could be more foolish than going back to where you can see what you don't want to see, to where you can feel what you don't want to feel, hear what you don't want to hear, and know what you don't want to know? if seen in that mindset then the darkness seems like its paradise. but we all know its not. we all know that the darkness is a void. so why stay?because I need to find some place where there is no YOU. where your hair,your smile and your fucking eyes don't exist.
pictures from postsecret.com

nakakatawa pro at the same time nakakahiya.

http://www.admu.edu.ph/index.php?p=120&type=2&aid=5722

ERP (ENTERPRISE RESOURCE PLANNING)

la ako maisip.
pano un?

-------------
On other matters...
I now knew the solution.
I just have to immerse myself
again in the world that I have
so carefully built. The world
that does not have anything
to do with you.

namiss ko lang to.

because fate is playing tricks on me.

last night I was so excited. I got my stuff ready and I was even joking with my friend, telling her that I would be the first in class tomorrow on our 8:30am CS30 class. Then I slept a bit early than my usual bedtime and woke up earlier than I was suppose to. When I woke up I immediately texted my friends a goodmorning message and happily messaged them that it was the last day of our class. I even planned on taking pictures. So I got ready for school and proceeded to the car. I would have been at school an hour early but as fate would have it I arrived 2 mins late and was not able to take our very last moodle quiz. Why? Well because fate decided to play a trick on me. My car got broken and I have to have it towed and since I don't have a car I have to get a cab to go to school. And as if that wasn't enough the cab driver was so slow I have to urge him to overtake some cars. That was such a frustrating experience but I surprisingly did not go ballistic. I just smiled. I finally understood that I cannot control life. There are some things in this world that I just have to accept.And besides I still have a Casa Xocolat meeting with friends later that day to cheer me up so what is there to frown about. Bring it on f-a-t-e!

dahil mukhang gising ang buong mundo maliban sayo.

ang daya naman eh.
ikaw hindi affected pero ako
oo.
balik na naman ba to sa dati?
-------------------






--> me being super Emo

loveAgain?

It may seem that all I write about is love and that I am incapable of writing anything not related to it. But isn't that what people do? They cry, they laugh, they sing, they dance and they pray, all in the name of love. That is reality and I understand it more clearly now. We do all these things because we live for love and we love because we want to live. We seem to live in this perpetual paradox of interdependency between the Self and Others even though we are not sure if there really is a Self or an Other for that matter. We go around in circles seemingly unable to progress but that is precisely where the wonder of being human comes in. We are aware that we would never know true love and that we would never reach the "unattainable" but we never give up, we keep on trying. And this is the point where I disagree with Nietzsche. Though I believe in the inherent weakness in humanity, unlike Nietzsche I see something more in humanity--beauty. The beauty of humanity lies in our ability to hope even when there's nothing left to hold on to, to reach even when it continually evade our grasp and to try even if we teether on the edge of despair. To be human is to be able to be in this predicament of trying and failing and yet be able to say "so what?". And so to love even when there is no more happiness involve, to continue reaching even when everything seems to be slipping away is humanity expressing itself in us.

By the way this is me trying my very best to philosophize not justify.

nothing that makes sense really.

Went home late and got caught in the
goddamn rain and got wet all over.

But I had an interesting ride home.
Saw those newly installed advertisement at the LRT line.
They are definitely shocking, you should go check them
out.
Counted about 6 people picking their noses in public
and I swear I'm never going to touch those railings
or door handles ever again. Its better to be safe than
sorry right?
Then when I rode the MRT I got pushed around like
a sardine. Man it was awful!
Then when I got out
the goddamn rain started pouring like crazy.
---------------
pagnaging sila I swear masasaktan ako pero ewan ko lang rin bakit.

gropingaroundblindly.

how could I have guessed differently?
how could I have thought a thing so far-fetched
that it was almost ridiculous?
well it seems like after all this time
I'm fooling myself still.
I guess you can say I'm still blinded.

Regression.

It is a well known established fact that people change.
And I think I have reconciled myself with that fact
except now that I am again faced with this certain
situation, I find that I believe otherwise.
-------------------

People progress. They grow old and mature.
Again this is an established fact and I also once
thought that I agree with that but when faced again
with the aforementioned situation, I turn around
and realize that no some people don't.
--------------------

I wonder then why everytime we meet, even just brief
encounters like last time, I inevitably tripped.
Your brown eyes seems to have this weird effect on me
which eventually causes me to regress.
------------------

Years and years of practicing the 8 fold path
and many months of exercising myself so as to
liberate myself from Tanja
all got wasted
the moment I laid eyes on you.
F*ck there goes Nirvana!
--------------------
Lucas to Peyton:
I hate you. You ruined my life. I wish you never came
back.
Even if we all know he doesn't mean it, it hurt Peyton.
If you're the one who heard that I swear you're gonna
cry your eyes out too.
So please don't tell me its ok.
because its not.

ho hum.

Nothing is fine.
But everything is good.