Mainit,

pero umuulan..

Bestfriend talks...

are still the best ever.
I needed that talk with
my one and only bestfriend.
It made me see reality in
a different way.
It made me view maturity
in a whole new perspective.
And best of all
she made me realize
that I am still worth
something.
That even if I am
mediocre at my very best
I am still wanted and
loved.
And that all I
really have to do is
believe in myself.
I have missed these
talks.
I have missed her.
Thank you bes for
everything!

3 i mistress e

Someone in a party asks...
How about you? What's your story?
i have no one to call my own.
But i can proudly say that
i am a mistress.
Mistress of just myself, and mistress of
a land that exists only in my
imagination and
most importantly mistress of a
guy that would never consent
to be mine.
So it is really true that there
is something to be said
about innocence and independence.
Both started with i
and ended with e.
i suppose so...
But does it really matter?

2 Current Feel.

I wanted you to fight for me. And tell me that you would
rather be alone than with anyone else!
-Brooke Davis

At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world.
Some are running scared. Some are coming home.
Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just now facing
the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good,
struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world. Six billion souls.
And sometimes -- all you need is one.
-Peyton Sawyer
---------------------------------------------

at the end of the day
that was all I ever really needed..
just one fight,
one brave effort to dive and fall
but I never got that from you
I was standing there
waiting...
waiting for you to make that
attempt
so I could catch you
---see
all you really have to do was
TRUST ME...

Lady Georgie.

This scene has been engraved in
my mind since I was 10 and it is
only now that I realized why.
Realizations.Love.Dreams.
Hope.Desperation.Uncertainty.
Change.Nature.Betrayal.Humanity
they are all there...

resurrection.

It does not matter how many dreams
you have and how many of them came true.
What matters most is that you dare
to dream at all
because at the end of the day
what really count are the lessons
that you've learned.
-------------------------
This afternoon, I have seen that
I do not have to be profound
in order to live and love.
Shallowness can be fascinating
in itself because it can somehow
resurrect your dreams.
So now, I am daring to dream AGAIN.

The Next Chapter: Law School

My father and I are still not talking
but law school is now a very definite
reality.
I would be lying if I am to say that
I am indifferent to this recent change
in my life because right now,
I am pretty sure that I'm
feeling every emotion humans
are capable of.
I am afraid, excited, forlorn, anxious
depressed etc...you name it, I'm probably
feeling it.
What have I gotten myself into?
I do not know a single thing about law
school except that it is tough.
My heart extremely palpitates (I am
not joking) whenever I think of the
next four years.
Arghhh!
If I had gotten my way
I would have gladly been sitting
in an office somewhere doing
managerial responsibilities in some
obscure company.
Darn! I don't want to forever live
in my father's shadow!
But this is the hand
that I've been dealt with
by fate and so I am
going to play it...
Let the next set of games
begin!

AMNESIA.

AMNESIA

The haze of thundering dusts
from railroad past
Almost bypass
the imaginary clearing
of my cluttered past

The avalanche of rain
from age old trains
Almost evade
the eventual weakening
of my deprived brain

And the rush of mist
from ancient transits
Almost dodge
the sudden falling
of my self gist...
-rich-

{inspired by J.M.W Turner's Rain,Steam and Speed-The Great Western Railway}

The Infamous Miss Take.

is such a disappointment...
But I must admit that
it is quite amazing
how a mere touch
combined with
repressed
sadness
can lead
to weird
results.
tsk tsk
poor
Miss
Take.

But the wisdom
of it all is that
some things
are really
meant
to be
forgotten...

Note to self:
you are not a traitor
nor are you a scarlet
lady...you are just
a woman with a
weak will

1 engagements and marriages.morfgnologa...

and so here I am again writing my
freakishly wrong feelings...

the last thing to be bought would be the ring...
I haven't seen it yet but I have no doubt that
I would...
and quite frankly I don't know how I will react
when I finally see it...
I have been really patient recently...
quite saintly in fact...
but I am very much afraid that the ring
would be the last straw...
what if I cried? what if I suddenly go berserk?
or what if I BEGGED?
that would be mortally embarrassing...
but I have not really addressed the real issue...
I have been skirting around the problem for
the past week or so
hoping to avoid it and
totally afraid to face it...
what would I do now?
what does their engagement mean to me?
would I finally stop clinging and just go on?
and if I don't what would I do next?
be a home wrecker?
its just unfair...
plainly and simply UNFAIR
why is it that the
right thing always hurt
so damn much?
I am losing sleep and its all because of HIM
gOD!how i love him

the New world.

You live with fear, in the grip
of fear - fear of storms, fear of
sickness on board, fear of the
immensity. What if you never
escape? How can you escape?
There’s nowhere to go. So you
must drive your fear down, deep
into your belly, and study your
charts, and watch your compass,
and pray for a fair wind - and
hope.
Pure naked fragile hope,
when all
your senses scream at you, Lost!
Lost! Imagine it. Day after day,
staring west, the rising sun on
your back, the setting sun in
your eyes, hoping, hoping -
At first it’s no more than a haze
on the horizon, the ghost of a
haze, the pure line corrupted.
But clouds do that, and storms.
So you watch, you watch.
Then it’s a smudge, a shadow on
the far water. For a day, for
another day, the stain slowly
spreads along the horizon, and
takes form - until on the third
day you let yourself believe.
You
dare to whisper the word - land!
Land. Life. Resurrection. The
true adventure. Coming out of the
vast unknown, out of the
immensity, into safe harbour at
last. That - that - is the New
World.

-Sir Walter Raleigh
Elizabeth:THE GOLDEN AGE

---------------------
Hope.
"Pure Naked Fragile HOPE"
I had forgotten what that is.