on gayness.

A new guy friend asked me why I said that it would be very scary and traumatic to suddenly find myself dating or in love with a gay guy. I answered rather poorly and I obviously did not convince him of my answer. Now that I had enough time to mull things through, I was able to better conceptualize my feelings on the matter. My answer is not based on some mistaken belief that homosexuality is a necessary evil. I know that it is not ultimately wrong just because it was a different situation and can sometimes be called an abnormality. My answer, I suppose, is something akin to having hope. Perhaps this would be better understood if I illustrate it. When you fall in love with a guy and he cheats on you and then you find out about the other girl. Your natural reaction would be to feel both angry and hurt. But besides all those conflicting emotions, if you are to be really honest to yourself, you would admit that there is some thread of hope left. Somewhere lodged in the deepest recesses of your heart is the hope that maybe, just maybe, he would find you attractive again and you could win him back. There is always that tiny spark of hope left because you know that no matter what happens you could still fight. It is a well known fact that we could not always win every battle but at least you always have a chance to win. You always have a fighting chance at the battlefield. But when the guy you love told you that he is in love with another guy. The playing field suddenly tips out of balance. With a situation like that, you could never win. In fact it would be pointless to fight. At every turn, you would always be the loser. You would not even be given a chance to prove yourself. How could you even hope to win him back? Can you suddenly be a man yourself? Obviously, you cannot and neither can you make him change. That said, can you disprove my claim?