while waiting...

it is already 10am in my clock and still no word from my friends...
I hate waiting. It is one of my pet peeves. People don't make me wait
this long because I'd be totally uncommunicative the whole day and
that is not a good thing. Hahaha!

and so to keep my temper in check, I decided I'd blog instead
and write whatever comes into mind
and let the world make sense of my fragmented ramblings

“It must be good,” she said so quietly that he almost did not hear the words, “to be loved that dearly.”

yeah, it is so easy to feel envious, to feel anger and to feel bitter
and much more easy to succumb to hate
but the morning is always brighter--which is why I love mornings
and then that is when I realize
that easy is not always right
and that I don't like easy
I've always loved challenges
so why opt for easy when you can have adventure?
and the truth is I really can't hate
not because I'm such a saint that all I am capable of is goodness
but only because I can feel pity
and because I can relate
and because I totally understand
I almost wept
Almost
things should have been different
and I shouldn't have been there
and it sucks because now I am there and
I can't do what I always do
and if I can make everyone happy
I'll do almost anything
but I can't
because I don't know how to make
everyone happy
not even myself
and that is just plain sad isn't?

what is more is that I am a sucker for romance
I love happy endings
and if I can make every love story end in a happy note
I'll do it
I want happy endings
for everyone
even at the cost of my own sometimes
and that is just plain "martyr-ish" isn't?

I want to be your last first kiss that you'll ever have
I want to be your last first kiss

I was browsing through my twitter posts and I saw a tweet
from way back when I was super emo
this is it:
waiting for that day when I would be the first pick, first choice, first everything
you see I never get chosen
I always end up seeing them leave
recurrent huh?
but well it happens
must have to relearn something
probably not learned all I have to learn about that
it is kinda tiring isn't?

“It must be good,” she said so quietly that he almost did not hear the words, “to be loved that dearly.”

My time will come I suppose
Gotta be optimistic
but guarded too
the heart does not break just once after all
as I very well knew

ooooohhhh I miss blogging this long
:P