~memories~

check nyo:
ung mga video d2
ung sa first one kay steph madamba na multiply site
senores cheering
haaayyy
http://steph01memyslfndi.multiply.com/

next kay solo serina
lit presentation nla
http://limewater.multiply.com/video/item/2

bored

what tree did you came from?
i got bored kaya ayan pati ito pinapatulan ko na
hehehe
got that from an email
dyan daw akong tree nahulog
tsk tsk tsk...hmmmnnn
totoo ba?

Fir tree (Mysterious) - extraordinary taste,
handles stress well (?), loves anything beautiful, stubborn, tends to care for those close to them, hard to trust others, yet a social butterfly (huh?), likes idleness and laziness after long demanding hours at work, rather modest, talented (yeah right!), unselfish, many friends, very reliable.

hahahaha
medyo lng ata
hehehe

survey only

currents!@*&!*@&^&
current clothing:	shorts and shirt
current mood:	bored
current taste:	sweet
current hair:	long
current annoyance:	my sis
current smell:	inspired by you
current thing you ought to be doing:	researching
current jewelry:	earrings
current book:	much ado about nothing
current refreshment:	water
current worry:	grades..;(
current crush:	mr.f
current favorite celebrity:	tyra banks
current longing:	my ex-baby..;p
current music:	eraserheads
current wish:	pass my all my classes
current lyric in your head:	ilang awit pa ba ang aawitin o giliw ko?....
current makeup (if you're a girl!):	powder lng..nd gloss
current undergarments:	duh!
current regret:	foolish dreaming
current desktop picture:	desert sands
current plans for tonight/weekend:	study..;p
current cuss word du jour:	lech!
current disappointment:	my low grades..;(
current amusement:	dianne! ahehehe
current IM/person you're talking to:	no one
current love:	no one
current obsession:	mr.F!!!!! and YOU-ARE-MY-NEIGHBOR
current avoidance:	my ex..kidding only!..;p
current thing or things on your wall:	nothing
current favorite book:	vince's life
current favorite movie:	brokeback mountain!..;p
Take this survey | Find more surveys You've been totally Bzoink*d

free day!

yessssss!
no classes
hahaha
was suppose to go out with daphne
kaya lng ndi nako pinayagan eh
hmmmnn
nxt tym nlng ang timezone
i think i have enough of it na
grabe kasawa kahapon
never thought pagsasawaan ko ever ang timezone
that's it for now
gotta research for ES
hehehe
kinacareer ko daw kc ES eh

~torn~

*i looked at you and smiled quietly to myself
you are oblivious of course to all my silent stares
am i to forever look at you hoping that you'll be
not just another dream nor fantasy?
am i to always wait then flee
and never be allowed to see?
will i ever be yours
or better yet
will you ever be mine?

haaayyyy....

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
just when I thought everything is going right
everything came shattering back down again
one look
and i break down
one touch
and i came undone

damn!
i hate this kind of sh*t!

recap

Valentine's Day
= wasn't exactly happy but was smiling the whole time
received lots of gifts and I was really touched
*kilig factor*

Feb.15
= awful day
late for math class, loads of seatwork
received a very low grade in English Research Paper
Didn't get to see A CERTAIN SOMEBODY
BUT spent time with blockmates and was happy for awhile

FEBRUARY 16, 2006
= ONE GOOD DAY COMING UP!
love this day so much! and reasons are:
-ROSE
-YOU ARE MY NEIGHBOR
-SAW Mr.F
-MSG from somebody
-miscol from an old friend
-yearbook

*kilig factor*
yeah! great day talaga!
haayyy...
feel so loved today!
alright
nuff said for today
elaborate later on...
zaijian!

~mysterious~

para sayo. [
Feb 8 2006
]
[ mood | melancholy ]
[ music | The Closest Thing -- Juliana Theory ]

Before the last bubble bursts--

The Closest Thing
by Juliana Theory


You're the words that come out easy,
And I am speechless at best.
Your star it seems to shine above the rest.
You're the face before the cameras,
The smile I'd like to earn.
The closest thing to perfect,
In a hollywood to burn.
You're the beauty that is deeper,
Than eyes can merely see.
The closest thing to perfect.
But the farthest thing from me.

I'd love to be
The shoulder that you cry on.
I'd love to be
The friend you call when things are great.

You're the dream that hasn't ended,
And I'm still anxious for rest.
Your words that seem to hang above my head.
You're the bud before the flower
Unfurls into full bloom.
Captivating beauty,
But it maybe all too soon.
You're the song that writes a story
But leaves a lot to read.
The closest thing to perfect,
But the farthest thing from me.

And like I really deserve a chance to
Sit across the table
And tell you that I think you're wonderful.
And I think you're something special.
I guess this is my only chance to
Say I wish I knew you,
Because I'm sure you're wonderful,
If I'd get to know you.
--------------------------------------------------

found this while i was blog-hopping
really nice song
think it is appropriate

~searching~

finding someone, searching for that somebody
someone to hold
someone to cry
someone who would make me feel alive
MAYBE its you
MAYBE its you all my life
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
there are moments when you seem to get out of your busy life and just sit down for a quiet reverie
you think of moments that have passed and realize how time passes by so quickly
and then you remember those days of blissful and worry-free existence
those days of happy events
those days of trust and faith
those days of romance
yes romance...
coming from someone who had not so long ago posted something that may have sounded anti-love and bitter
this may seem sarcastic
but really
romance and love whether we admit it or not is a big part of life
and most of us again regardless of whether we admit to it or not spend most of our time looking and searching for that someone who would make us feel the euphoria of falling in love
i guess its natural to look
and even more so to hope
i tried to stop feeling this way
but i guess i won't be able too
it is after all NATURAL
-----------------------------
i guess i am just getting tired
getting tired of looking and hoping and falling
im so tired most of all
of
hurting
is love really suppose to be natural?
can it be unnatural?
can somebody make it unnatural just so i wouldn't have to feel it anymore...
can somebody stop making me feel
coz it hurts so damn much
there...
im bleeding
=(

ON LOVE

MAHAL KO NA SIYA?

Love is such a vague word. It is too broad for a topic and too specific for an emotion. For others, love makes the world go round. For some, love sucks. So..ano nga ba ang pag-ibig na sinasabi nila. Everybody seems to have a different say on the matter. Everybody has various views, different perceptions. Ang gulo! Eh paano ba nasasabi ng isang tao na umiibig na nga siya, na nagmamahal na nga siya? Paano niya nasasabi na oo nga mahal ko na siya.
Pagmadalas bang naiisip mahal na? Eh bakit ako, palagi ko naiisip bestfriend ko. Ibig bang sabihin mahal ko na siya? Ibig bang sabihin I feel something special na, iyong tipong more than friends? Yuck ha!
Pagnagaalala ka ba sa kanya mahal mo na? Halimbawa, nabalian ng paa iyong professor mo tapos nag-alala ka, ibig sabihin mahal mo na? Parang ang freaky nun ah.
Pagmadalas kayong magkasama at masaya ka ibig bang sabihin mahal mo na? Oo, nga’t madalas kayong magkasama dahil gusto niyo ang company ng isa’t isa. Pero sapat na dahilan na ba iyon upang isipin na mahal mo na siya?
Pagpalagi ka bang napapangiti ng taong iyon, mahal mo na? Ganun? Eh bakit ako madalas naman akong napapangiti ng mga kaibigan ko ah. Ibig sabihin salawahan na pala ako kasi ang dami ko nang minamahal.
Pagmadalas kayong mag-usap at natutuwa ka, mahal mo na? Its true na nag-coconnect nga kayo kasi you get to share your views with each other and find new & fantastic things about each other but is it enough basis to say na oo nga noh because we connect baka mahal na kita?
Paglagi ba siya nandyan para sayo at nafefeel mo ang support niya, mahal mo na? Is that how love is, is love all about being dependent on the other person?

If falling in love is all about what I wrote above, then love is such a shallow feeling. Wala palang magandang dahilan para umibig eh. Ang babaw ng mga dahilan ng tao. Eh halos lahat yan pwede mong maranasan sa araw-araw mong buhay. Papaano kung nawala na lahat ng feeling na yan? Wala na bang love pag ganun? San na napunta iyong “I will love you forever” na mga sinasabi niyo sa isa’t isa? How can someone say na mahal ko na siya, if the basis for gauging love are all so pitifully shallow? Parang lokohan lang pala ang pag-ibig na yan eh.
But that’s me, I don’t care if you share my sentiments or not. All I do here is write. I guess I am just so disillusioned with love right now that is why I questioned the validity of what you call romantic LOVE. So there….prove me wrong…I challenge you…

show and tell

A few weeks ago when our English professor told us that we’re going to have this so-called show and tell in class I wasn’t that enthusiastic about it. I was never comfortable talking in front of a large number of people much more share something about me. But when he told us what it is that we’re going to bring, I was kind of excited about it. He told us to bring something that is very significant for us. The first thing that came to mind is my Senores bandana. It was easy deciding what to bring because I know exactly what it is that is very significant for me. But then as the show went on I realized that I would have wanted to bring a lot of things. Not that my Senores bandana wasn’t enough, its just that there are other things pa pala that are very significant din for me. And if I was given another chance to “show and tell” something, these are what I would bring:
1) My sepaktakaraw (the one we used when we won against the fourth-year team when we were juniors) = because it is a reminder of that victorious time. And it reminds me of the best team I’ve ever had the chance of becoming part of. Nien, Dai, Pao, Ikay and me. We had such great team spirit, we totally connect. My sepaktakraw reminds me also of the days of thorough training, the hurtful bruises, the small cuts, and swollen ankles even the little misunderstandings. It was a reminder of the days when I had perseverance and discipline as virtues, when I had friendship and team spirit as values, when I had prayer and trust as anchors.
2) My CLE award medals (yes, both of them..hehehe) = for some it was a surprise I had gotten that award, more so when I had gotten them twice. Hehehehe! It was a surprise for me too. I didn’t know why my teachers choose to bestow on me that award but nevertheless I was happy receiving them. Makes me feel I’m worth something and that I am not such a bad person afterall. And well, it reminds of the belief and trust people had on me. I guess I consider it as an ego-booster, it may not mean a lot to other people but it means a lot to me. Hmmmmnnn..now that I think about it…maybe it was mere compensation for me..the heavens tried to placate me so I wouldn’t be hurt too much by the fact that I hadn’t gotten into the Merit list and award me instead with the CLE award..at least I was able to get upstage twice..hehehe..
3) The CSR logo = it is simply a reminder of the place where I spent almost half of my life. Of the place where I get to form my values, my perceptions, my own self. Of the place that taught me almost everything I knew. Of the place that nurtured my ideals, my talents (if I really have one),and my beliefs. Of the place where I had met the people who played, are playing, and will continue to play a major part in my life. Of the place that caused me much pain but much happiness too. Of the place where I actually grew, not just in body but as well as in spirit. Of the place I had grown to love.
4) Pictures of my friends and family = not much to be said here. Obviously because the pictures are reminders of moments and memories shared and created together by these people I love.
5) My acceptance letter in Ateneo = I was very proud when I had gotten into the Ateneo. It was my dream university. Eversince I was 11, I had started building this dream for myself. I really wanted to be able to study in Ateneo that was why when I had gotten news that I was accepted I literally jump for joy and cried. Hahahaha! That is why my acceptance letter is very important for me. It is a reminder of my dream coming true.

exhausting

*Why is it that when people talked about reality, it always seem to be bad? When something bad happens to you, people will tell you “Welcome to the real world”. If you’re running at the beach and lying in the sand watching the stars with your girlfriend, hindi daw real world eh ano ba yun fake na mundo? Ano ba ang reality? Does it always have to be bad? Hindi ba pwede maging masaya sa reality, hindi ba pwede maging masaya sa totoo?
- a slightly paraphrased version of what V*ct*r said in our “show and tell” last Friday.


*Kasi may nangyari. Pero basta, lahat naman ng lalake iiwan ka at lolokohin. Eh kaya kung pipili ka, bakit sa pangit ka pa magpapaloko diba. hehehehe
- from V*a*c*


*Bakit ang bilis niya nakalimot? Hmmmmnn…siguro kasi nakakita na siya ng bago. Kasi pag iyon na talaga iyon na..ganun eh. Basta. Gets mo ba?
- from F*y


*Can life get anymore complicated than this? You might probably think I’d say no but NO I’LL SAY YES. Yes, because it sure is gonna get more complicated than this. More complicated than everything else and it gets worse everytime but don’t worry, you’ll survive. I know, I did.
-from J*s***
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

exhausting day!
went around Manila today
spent half the day walking from Quiapo-Binondo
and another half the day WALKING still
from Binondo-Sta.Cruz station
so tiring...
but happy
hehehe...
got to spend a day out of my boring routine driven lifestyle
got to walk around and have some exercise
got to be in a new place
got to experience new things
yeah really really happy today!
but...
something is wrong
managed to get someone angry
don't know how
but I know I did

one more thing
bought my first ever chinese chess today!
hehehehe
whhhhheeeeeeee!
happy!

multitasking

Mediocrity sucks! I am not accustomed to it. I never was. We should always seek for more out of life. Being contented with what we have right now is great but not longing for more and not discovering things and consciously setting limits is… boring! It really sucks. I don’t want to be a full-time plain classroom student. In high school, I’ve joined every club and participated in all school activities and enjoyed it very much. Friends were everywhere. They joined in too. We were all such busybodies. But we loved it. We even became carpenters, graphic artists, home acrylic painters, actors, directors, and more because of the activities there. It pushed us to be very creative and resourceful. Not having much support and procrastinating brings out the best in us. As long as we have each other and were having fun, everything naturally turns out great. We even get surprised at ourselves sometimes for the awesome result we can’t believe we’ve achieved. Mind you, we have such high standards. Here, life is limited to the classrooms. Friends are focused on their own studies. Well, that’s good but what about being a well-rounded person? Don’t they want to be more? Why don’t they have interest in theater groups? Glee club? Dance troupe? School paper? Student council? (Meron ba?!) and other clubs and orgs?! Did they even experience working on plays and going out by themselves with friends to different locations for school work or gimiks?! Did they even stayed late past midnight? Had overnights with group mates or friends? Go on outings? Were their field trips as vigorous and exciting as our outbound? I really love taro for all these things. I hated the rules in there, and sometimes the management of activities, but the whole experience in there is incomparable. You really appreciate something more than ever after experiencing others. You realize that what you were really looking and longing for was just right in front of you.

-------------------------------------------------------------------
DISCLAIMER:
the post above was written by my friend Wap
i had gotten that from her blog

uhmmm..
can relate lng..
been missing all the activities
all the late hours
all the stressing
not that i don't have them here
its just different
plain
boring
studying all the time!
damn!
i want some action!

~sentimentality~

another side of me i choose to reveal
my sentimental side
hahahahaha

well i found this quote while i was blog-hopping

found it appropriate for the moment

**I tried to take the pain away by finding someone new...but then i came to realize, no one compares to you...and even if i look around pretending not to cry..i'll always go back to the day you finally said goodbye...**

sad?
perhaps..

~contemplating~

People Change
yes all of us do regardless of whether we like it or not
change has always been the most dominating factor in our lives
as the cliche quote goes "there is nothing constant but change"
i for one don't like change
i had always liked routine and order
because it made me feel safe and secure
why?
because i know what will happen next
because everything is laid out for me
because everything is SURE
i had always wanted to know what will happen next
i never liked not knowing anything
that was why when everything in my life started changing
i started going ballistic
i didn't know how to cope
i didn't know how to start again
and for the first time in my life i realized that
all my life
i had been living in this one big comfort zone i had created for myself
it was hard living out of that bubble
it was hard
really hard
but i can't do anything
so i tried to adjust
and for now i'd like to think i am doing fine
JUST FINE
and did i change?
perhaps...
but i hope not that fully..
like some people i know..

......
alright
that was weird
why did i write that?
i have no idea
just popped into my head or something
anyway
that's just crap

on my research paper

one:
it was the most unprepared paper i have written in my entire life
two:
it is certainly going to get a very low grade
three:
it is one hell of a trash
four:
it deserves to be in a trash bin
five:
i hate it!